Not that I'm getting married, but these topic was the highlight of my conversation with my friend yesterday. I was introduced to my friend's cousin whose wedding just got canceled. His supposed wedding would be held on November. He didn't give me all the details, but with the talk yesterday, I got clue there were problem with the wedding preparation. Wedding preparation is the first "soon to be married" couple had to faced as two families merged as one. I have my own share with my own two brother's stories or my friend's. There were challenges, because no two families are the same. And the important and sensitive one is budget. In Indonesia, usually the parents are the one spending money for their children's wedding. I know, some couple that pay their own wedding, but that just a few. Because the parents are the one spending millions rupiah for a wedding, they will somehow control it. It's not 100% bride and groom's decisions anymore, and two parents or four people with the couple, it could be a mess. Wedding Budget Who will paid the wedding? Fully paid by the groom's family or half-and-half? Or according to the quantity of the guests? If you want to invite 200 guests, while the other side want a bigger numbers, so you just paid for 200 guests meals. How much money your parents willing to spend? Put on the budget. Many parents are so excited that their child is getting married, and talking nonsense budget, But when the time they actually need to pay it, some people might consider. Wedding is expensive. My first brother's wedding was paid 100% by my side family. So, the decision were made by my father and my brother; what venue, how many invitation, etc. While the bride can still choose the dress, make up artist but still on the budget that fit. While my second brother's wedding was different, since his in-law want a mega wedding, my father actually just tell the truth how much money he's willing to spend, if the in-law still want a mega wedding, please paid the rest. It's the truth and they accepted it. Two Celebrations You might marry someone who came from other city, and it might need two celebrations or two wedding parties to be held, so the parents's acquaintances on each city could come and witness. Remember, it might be your wedding, but it's your parent's party since they paid for it. Talk to both parents how they want to do it. Where they holy matrimony will be held, because it's one time only. And next, which city first. You could have one engagement party in one city, then holy matrimony and wedding party in other city. Some people also choose to have holy matrimony and wedding party in one city, and do it again in other city. Or just choose one, you need to transport the one whole family to other city. It's about compromise. You might have to ask your family if they're willing to travel, it's another consideration. Told you, two families merger as one could be mess. Budget could be considerations. When two wedding celebrations are held, automatically each will take responsibility for each city's celebrations. Wedding Ang Bao
You have your beautiful wedding, and the next sensitive money stuff you need to face is dividing wedding Ang Bao. The basic principle is who paid the wedding will get the Ang Bao. It might break-even in some case, you get back how much you spend for the wedding, or maybe 80% , or just slightly 25%. It's different in each case. But don't ever expect to break-even, you will disappointed. Some parents will give all the money to bride and groom as stater of the marriage's life. Some will use it to pay for the honeymoon. And most of them, just take it back. If you paid half and half, just write each guest's Ang Bao's value (that's why it's important to give number to each envelope) and give it back to whose guest is it. To be fair, whoever guests give it directly to bride and groom, it's their right, usually the family relatives will give it directly to bride and groom as a wish of prosperity marriage.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
All
Archives
January 2021
|